A Hidden Challenge of Fitness Success (And How to Stay Grounded Through It)

A real-talk guide from Impact One Fitness, a personal training studio in Woodland Hills, CA.

In preparation for all the holiday festivities – I figured I would write about one of the hidden challenges our personal training clients experience when they start seeing their fitness results. I will cover:

• why praise can sting,

• how success can actually feel uncomfortable,

• and what you can do to stay the course.

Fitness success isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. It’s social. It’s relational. And it can shake up your world in ways you don't expect.

🎄 Why Praise Doesn’t Always Feel Good When You Start Becoming Fit

We all imagine fitness success as that moment someone sees you after months apart and they say something like:

“Oh my gosh, you look amazing! What have you been doing?!”or

“Wow, your face looks so different!”or maybe even...

“You’ve lost so much weight — just don’t go too far!”

They sound like compliments. But depending on where your mindset is that day, they can land very differently. Sometimes they motivate. Sometimes they sting. Sometimes they can uncover insecurities we didn’t even realize we had.

And as a Woodland Hills personal trainer, I see this happen with clients all the time. Fitness success feels incredible…until it bumps into someone else’s expectations, insecurities, or comfort zones.

💬 When Your Success Makes Other People Uncomfortable

This dynamic isn’t unique to fitness. Years ago, when my wife and I completely changed our financial habits, we eventually celebrated by buying two cars — one of them a Mercedes. A client joked: “Wow, someone’s rich now! Maybe I’m paying you too much!” I'm sure she meant it playfully 🤔... But either way, the comment immediately put my wife on her heels and she instantly started explaining how we got a great deal, how it wasn’t really a big purchase. I had to remind her: Never downplay your hard work. We earned our success. People filter your achievements through their self-perception. And fitness is no different.

🧠 The Identity Shift That Happens When You Get Fit

When you're experiencing fitness success, it’s not just your body that changes — your identity changes, and so does the way people relate to you.

Suddenly, you’re no longer:

• “the big guy or girl,”

• “the out-of-shape cousin,”

• “the one who avoids hikes,”

• “the person who always sits things out.”

You’re someone new now. Someone more capable. Someone who shows up differently. And that shift can feel uncomfortable for:

1. You — because you’re stepping into a new identity.

2. Them — because their mental picture of you no longer matches reality.

This is where something called the tribal leveling effect comes in.

⭐️ A special note about identity: Many people experience the ups and downs of weight-loss or fitness success due to their lack of an identity update. Maybe they're too proud to change who they are, didn't think they could, or just don't know how. Either way... it's a must for sustained fitness success to occur.

James Clear, the author of "Atomic Habits," is well-known for stating:

True Behavior Change is Identity Change.

⚖️ The Tribal Leveling Effect: Why Your Fitness Success Can Create Friction

The tribal leveling effect is a social tendency described in psychology that explains why people may feel uneasy when someone in their group changes – for better or worse.

Simply put:

• A tribe will instinctually pull someone up when they’re struggling

• But when someone rises “too high,” the tribe may also instinctively pull them back down

Not out of cruelty and maybe not even consciously — but because growth disrupts familiarity, and familiarity feels safe and humans like safety.

Here’s a deeper look:

🏅 Your success can trigger insecurity in others because it disrupts the role you used to play in their story.

People get comfortable with the version of you they’ve always known. That version plays a role in the balance of their perceived world. So when you change...a few things happen:

1️⃣ They lose a familiar reference point.

Your old patterns, your old behaviors, and even your old body shape:

• may have helped them feel secure,

• gave them a sense of where they stood,

• fit cleanly into what the group’s dynamic was.

When that changes, the whole system shifts, and it can feel destabilizing for them.

2️⃣ Your progress may highlight their perceived failures.

Your fitness transformation can unintentionally shine a spotlight on:

• their lack of progress,

• their stalled goals,

• the habits they haven’t changed,

• or the decisions they’ve been avoiding.

It’s not about you. It’s about the contrast your success creates.

And when someone isn’t ready to face that contrast, they may respond with:

• backhanded compliments,

• subtle jabs,

• weird jokes,

• or attempts to pull you back into old habits.

This is normal. Not ideal — but normal.

And this is exactly why anchoring your new identity is so important.

🌿 How to Anchor Your New Fitness Identity

Here are two evidence-based mindset tools that our personal training clients in Woodland Hills use to stay confident and consistent — even when social dynamics get weird.

🌞 1. Morning Declarations

(Mindset coaching we teach here at Impact One Fitness)

Declarations are intentional statements that shape your focus for the day and help your brain lock onto the identity you’re building.

Why they work: They guide your Reticular Activating System (RAS) — the part of the brain that filters information and highlights whatever you’ve identified as important. An example of how this works would be when you want a certain vehicle, and magically you start seeing the vehicle everywhere. Magic or neurological tuning? 🤔

Sample declarations that you would read aloud in the mirror:

• “I stand with confidence and strength when faced with someone else's insecurities or judgments.”

• “I am becoming a person who prioritizes my health.”

• “My success is earned, not accidental.”

• “I don’t need external validation to maintain my growth.”

These shift what your brain looks for. Opportunities instead of threats. Progress instead of doubt. And over time, they reinforce the identity you’ve been working hard to create.

🏆 2. Winning: The Daily Success Exercise

A client favorite inside our personal training studio in Woodland Hills

Most people abandon fitness not because they're incapable, but because they fail to see their own progress. We’re built with a negativity bias — meaning your brain naturally zooms in on what’s wrong instead of what’s going right.

To counter this:

✍️ Write down 5 daily successes – no matter how big or small.

Examples:

• You drank enough water

• You stopped eating when satisfied

• You walked even when you didn’t feel like it

• You chose protein at breakfast

• You set a boundary

• You spoke kindly to yourself

• You completed your workout

This trains your brain to recognize success, capability, and consistency rather than fixating on what’s missing.

This isn’t manifestation — this is neuroscience of pattern recognition. Your RAS learns to see more of whatever you consistently focused on. So tell it what matters.

🎁 Extra Credit: Prepare for Compliments (All Kinds)

Because you will get them. And they won’t all feel good.

Common ones:

• “You look incredible!”

• “Your face looks… different.”

• “Just don’t get too skinny…”

• “Must be nice to have time to work out.”

Have a confident response ready:

“Thanks! I’ve been taking better care of myself. It feels really good.”

Simple. Grounded. No shrinking.

🌄 Staying at the Top Without Apology or Guilt

When people pull at you — even unintentionally — your job isn’t to shrink.

Your job is to be strong enough at the top that their pulling gives them something to climb toward. Your rise doesn’t diminish them. But shrinking diminishes the possibility that they might rise with you. And at Impact One Fitness here in Woodland Hills, CA, that’s what we care about most: helping you become a stronger leader in your own life, so your success elevates everyone around you.

🚀 Want help navigating the mental + physical side of fitness?

If you're in Woodland Hills, West Hills, Calabasas, or the surrounding areas, come train with us at Impact One Fitness.

We specialize in:

• personal training

• semi-private training

• strength training and conditioning

• nutritional coaching

• weight loss coaching

• habit and mindset support

• sustainable transformation

• longevity focused fitness

• functional training

You grow. Your confidence grows. Your life grows. And we’re here to support your every step. Click on the Logo below 👇🏼

References & Resources

• Amabile, T., & Kramer, S. (2011). The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work.

• Baumeister, R. F., et al. (2001). “Bad is Stronger Than Good.” Review of General Psychology.

• Bem, D. J. (1972). Self-Perception Theory.

• Campbell, I. G. (2000). "The Reticular Formation." Encyclopedia of Life Sciences.

• Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits.

• Drew, P. (1987). “Poisonous Compliments.” American Journal of Sociology.

• Gilbert, P. (1997). The Evolution of Social Rank Theory.

• Lally, P., et al. (2010). “How are habits formed? A long-term experimental study.” European Journal of Social Psychology.

• Moruzzi, G., & Magoun, H. W. (1949). “Brain stem reticular formation and activation of the EEG.”

• Oyserman, D. (2009). Identity-Based Motivation Theory.

• Skinner, B. F. (1953). Science and Human Behavior.

• Tesser, A. (1988). Self-Evaluation Maintenance Model.